In what way would having kids tie you down?
My boyfriend of a few months has just told me he is adamant he doesn’t want any kids, he says they tie you down, what does he mean by that?
He means that once you have children they should automatically become your number one priority. Your own needs must always come after the needs of a child. In some respects your own life is put on hold when you have children. You have to prioritise and invest both time and money in their favour. If you are ready to do this it can be extremely fulfilling. If you are not ready, it can be the most restrictive thing you could ever imagine.
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he wants to live freely and not worry about anything.
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tie down is like responsibility when used in this context
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He means it costs 10s of thousands of dollars do raise a child. He means you lose most of your free time. He means its a huge commitment. He means that you have a permanent responsibility to take care of and raise a human.
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his personal space and freedom is VERY IMPORTANT to him
ive actually been trying to do away wiht my ovaries for years now
i dunno what id do with a baby. i wouldn’t know hot to raise one. it would have to go. i’ll roast it like a turkey and eat it. viola! problem gone! disaapearred baby
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It means that if he were to have kids at this time he would have to give up the things that he was at liberty doing before…partying,going to clubs,hanging out with his friends but then maybe he wants to have a career first and build a home or be financially stable before providing for another person.
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With kids you have to spent A LOT of money on them so that means less money for you two.And also if you ever wanted to randomly go around the world or go to a adults only hotel it wouldn’t be possible unless someone baby sitted for a week+
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You have to be a responsible parent when you have kids. He just wants to "live the good life." He probably enjoys the party scene or the adrenaline rushes. He also might think of himself first and can’t stand putting someone else (including you) above his enjoyment. If you want kids, dump him now before you become heartbroken later.
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I’m a dad – and loving it.
He must think he will be restricted of doing anything.
He wont be able to go out as much as his friends
Kids are a full time commitment. They are a lot of work.
Maybe he believes he cant be a good parent. Nobody really knows if they will be until it happens.
He could be just a typical guy that watches TV when he comes home from work. Relaxation isnt an option when kids come.
Kids can put strain on a relationship. Especially if your spouse isnt helping out as much as he should.
Dont force him into having kids because you will regret it and he will resent you.
Let him decide for himself.
If he really doesnt want them then dont let him destroy your chances of being a mother.
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Looking after kids is a huge job. It’s a 24/7 job that goes on for at least 18 years. Kids are very expensive to bring up right from day 1. You can’t go anywhere without them and when you do there’s heaps of stuff you have to take with you if they are babies/infants. Then school starts. Books, clothes and all the stuff that goes with it. By the time they are maybe 8 it’s "mommy I want an" iPad or iPhone. Parents (both) have to work very hard to ensure there’s enough income so you’re always too tired for each other . . . enough?
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What he means is that once he has a bby he wont be able to do wat he wants. His not gonna go able to go out to partys & have fun. That also means that if u guys spend lots of time going out n having fun u cant do that either cuz theres a bby involed hope this helps
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Personal experiance
He means that once you have children they should automatically become your number one priority. Your own needs must always come after the needs of a child. In some respects your own life is put on hold when you have children. You have to prioritise and invest both time and money in their favour. If you are ready to do this it can be extremely fulfilling. If you are not ready, it can be the most restrictive thing you could ever imagine.
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